the art of looking closer
or, maybe chemistry isn't so bad after all
HALCYON. Meaning "calm, quiet, peaceful," from the 1540s, in halcyon dayes (translating Latin alcyonei dies, Greek alkyonides hemerai), 14 days of calm weather at the winter solstice, when a mythical bird (also identified with the kingfisher) was said to breed in a nest floating on calm seas. The name of this bird is from Latin halcyon, alcyon, from Greek halkyon, a variant (perhaps a misspelling) of alkyon "kingfisher," a word of unknown origin.
This summer, I completed some summer classes to fulfill my college gen-ed requirements. One was a General Chemistry class. If you follow me on Instagram, you know I complained about it—a lot. The main reason was that I had to teach myself all the content, since all classroom time was devoted to labs. The material was not always easy to understand. In fact, it usually wasn’t. (My least favorite topic was molecular geometry. The less said about the diagrams, the better.) With how much time I spent studying, the class felt like a part-time job.
That being said, I’d be lying if I said that there was nothing redeemable about Chemistry. First of all, it spurred my curiosity and creativity. As an example, I was startled to learn that visible light makes up less than 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum. (About 0.0035%, in the tiny strip circled in red.) To put that in context, shrimp and hummingbirds see more colors than humans do!
When I learned this fact, I immediately wondered, What would happen if humans could see more than that fraction? Being a writer, my next thought was, This would be a great sci-fi story. (Maybe someday I’ll write it.)
Chemistry also reminded me that the Humanities and STEM exist in connection, not in opposition, to one another. For instance, a week ago, I came upon a fascinating story in my Chemistry textbook.
There is a long-held belief among some people in India that storing water in brass pitchers can ward off illness. To test this belief, scientists from Britain and India filled brass pitchers with previously sterile water, to which they had added E. coli bacteria. They filled other brass pitchers with contaminated river water. In both cases, bacteria counts dropped from as high as 1,000,000 bacteria per milliliter to zero in just two days. Brass is an alloy of copper and zinc: it releases enough copper ions to kill the bacteria, but not enough to affect humans. So, beliefs about brass pitchers have both cultural and scientific significance.
From Chemistry, I have also learned that so much activity occurs on levels that humans do not perceive. It is incredible that every particle and being functions in just the right manner to create or support life. Once, I might have called that a coincidence. Now, I have a new respect for science. Or, perhaps it is more accurate to say that I have a new wonder for it.
Maybe science is just one long series of coincidences. Maybe it was preordained by some divine hand. I’m not sure. But perhaps this mystery is part of its nature.
Chemistry has taught me that science is an art as well. It is the art of looking closer: of daring to ask the unanswerable.
craft conversations
In July, I completed the fifth draft of Pawn and received editorial feedback. I uploaded the draft onto my Kindle to review what other changes I want to make. It’s a unique experience to read my book as if it were published. I like being able to highlight the text and make notes. It feels much more personal and engaging than doing it on a computer. I also catch a lot more sentence-level errors.
The more time I spend with Pawn, the more I realize how much it means to me. I played the song “We Hug Now” by Sydney Rose on repeat and it brought me to tears because it reminded me of a specific relationship in my book. (If you want to listen to the official Pawn playlist, click here.) Similarly, when I worked on an emotional moment in Alice’s character arc, I found myself tearing up with her.
I have been working on Pawn since I was sixteen years old. I have come of age with my own characters. I’m older than all my characters now. It is terrifying to think about letting this book into the world, but I know it’s the right decision. I can’t wait to share so many exciting things in the months to come!
books, media & recs
READING:
I’ve had a productive summer of reading. I have read many excellent indie books, including the Zach Croft series by J.B. Ryder and Vaguely Human Figures by Jina Jeon (all 5 stars). You can read my full reviews on my Goodreads here.
A standout book was Liar, Dreamer, Thief by Maria Dong. In the spring, I met the author in-person and received a signed copy. I could not put it down. I love the surreal fantasy elements that lurk at the edges of the story: they reminded me of the dreamlike atmosphere that pervades parts of Pawn.
To get into the proper mindset for editing Pawn, I reread The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis and The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi. I also read Peter Pan for the first time and was startled to see how much Disney sanitized the original novel. Perhaps the most glaring difference between the novel and the film is the ending. It completely changes how I understand the story of Peter Pan.
Recently, I picked up The Design of Books by Debbie Berne to learn more about interior formatting. Berne provides incredibly helpful information for both traditionally-published and self-published authors—and of course, the book is beautifully designed. I highly recommend it!
MUSIC:
There’s plenty of music I haven’t been able to get out of my head this summer:
A lot of Paramore, including “Ain’t It Fun”, “Still Into You”, and the entirety of their album After Laughter. I love when musicians pair upbeat rhythms and melodies with sadder lyrics, and Paramore does this exceptionally well. Also, Hayley Williams is a vocal powerhouse. I’d listen to her sing a grocery list.
“The Subway” by Chappell Roan. I’m so excited that she officially released it! It has the best coming-of-age 2000s movie vibes. I need somebody to write an angsty rom-com inspired by it.
“pretty isn’t pretty” by Olivia Rodrigo. Remember when I said I like upbeat songs with sad lyrics? This is one of my favorite examples. It’s a great summer song to blast on a car ride with your windows down.
“Graceland Too” by Phoebe Bridgers. I love the way she delivers my favorite lyric in this song: “Says she knows she lived through it to get to this moment”.
Coldplay’s early albums. There’s only one thing better than listening to “Yellow” while it’s raining, and that is listening to “Yellow” while you’re driving through the rain.
updates
If I am being honest, a thread of anxiety has trailed behind me for the last few months. Part of that can be attributed to what is going on in the world at any given time, but I have also been dealing with events in my personal life, college preparation, and planning the publication of my debut novel. Some days are easier. Some are not. I make sense of it in the only way I know how: writing. Over the last few months, I have written several poems (one of them a sestina) and countless pages in my diary. And of course, I have Pawn to keep me company.
Speaking of Pawn, I recommend that you follow me on Instagram and keep an eye on this space. Stay up to date so you don’t miss any exciting news!
Thank you so much for reading to the end of this newsletter. I can’t describe how grateful I am for your readership. If you enjoyed this issue of Musings, you can support me by reposting/recommending Musings or by following my socials on Instagram, Wattpad, and more.
GOODBYE. A salutation in parting, from godbwye (1570s), a contraction of God be with ye (late 14th century), influenced by good-day, good evening, etc; a noun since the 1570s.
Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, whenever this finds you—
Calliope