greeting
Welcome to the first installment of Musings by Calliope! I am so excited to have you here. On Instagram some time ago, I asked my followers to tell me their favorite words. In the main “article” of each newsletter, I will choose one of those words to etymologize (using the source https://www.etymonline.com/) as a foundation of sorts. So thank you to Hannah on Instagram for giving me this month’s word! It seems appropriate to center my first newsletter on a word that concerns revelations.
Although this newsletter is being released in June, it serves as a summary of what I did in May. So let’s begin, shall we?
2020 onward: how COVID shaped my writing
EPIPHANY. From late Greek epiphaneia meaning "manifestation, striking appearance, festival held in commemoration of the appearance of a god at some particular place"; from epiphanes meaning "manifest, conspicuous."
Last month, as I drew closer to graduation, I began to revisit my writings from 2020 onward. That made me reflect on how COVID-19 influenced (and continues to influence) the connection between mental health and artistry.
When I was a freshman in high school, still in the grips of COVID, I couldn’t even begin to think about the future. Usually, I found, people tended to focus on the present—how we could get from one moment to the next. This was true not only for classes, but also for extracurriculars, which then had limited capacity to operate. When I joined the swim team, the pool was shut down for safety reasons, so we exercised on the soccer field, wearing masks and social-distancing between sets. For that, we made the local news: Swim team exercises on dry land!
In September, the pool finally opened again. Some weeks later, competitions were reinstated, though they were tense affairs. If you weren’t in the pool, you were wearing a mask and social-distancing from your own teammates. Yet even if you took these precautions, it didn’t necessarily protect you. Every week, a new handful of teammates became sick. Their absences were glaring. I was barely familiar with their names, let alone their faces. I felt like I couldn’t get close to anyone. I was overwhelmed.
The one constant that I had during COVID were words. I wrote intensely during the spring of 2020. Usually I was inspired by Pinterest writing prompts, for anything from sci-fi to coming-of-age stories to high fantasy and urban fantasy. None of these short stories lasted for more than a couple pages, but I was never bored. And I can’t forget the thousands of words I wrote for Rick Riordan fanfiction or the poetry collections that I began and shelved in quick succession. I eagerly skipped from project to project. Some of my more personal work from that era concerned COVID—but not as much of it as I expected (just a handful of poems). Why was that?
The answer is pretty simple. Like many people, I didn’t want to write about COVID, because the reason I wrote in the first place was to escape it. Similarly, any reference to COVID seems to be avoided in mainstream media at all costs. For example, only two songs come to mind when I think of popular musicians who have referenced the pandemic (although Wikipedia tells me that there are 71 total songs that reference COVID.) One of these songs is “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan. He famously sings, “And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains / Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes.” The other song is “epiphany” by Taylor Swift (and as you might have guessed, is a nod to this newsletter’s theme). She sings, “Holds your hand through plastic now / Doc, I think she’s crashing out.” The song itself is dedicated to healthcare workers who were on the front lines during COVID.
Why so few references to COVID in mainstream media nowadays? I don’t think that we as artists or people have ever fully processed the trauma of a global pandemic. I remember my English teacher joking during virtual school that he wrote a novel about a post-apocalyptic plague, but wouldn’t be able to publish it at all. It is not healthy for our society to avoid having conversations about the pandemic. At the same time, however, I understand why we don’t. How can you process something so vast and overwhelming?
During times of strife, artists tend to turn to the coping mechanism of creation. I was no exception. When I look at the writings that I produced in that time period, the majority of it is me trying to escape. I meander almost exclusively through fantastical worlds. Often the protagonists are learning to wield magic or hunting down priceless artifacts. Very few of these writings spanned longer than a few pages, but I was more focusing on finding an idea that I could spin into a full-length story. Eventually, I learned how to find those ideas—one of which was inspired by the escapism that enabled my creative survival during COVID. This became my YA Alice in Wonderland retelling, PAWN. It is, among other things, about the dangers of nostalgia and the impermanence of dreams.
Today, I continue to write about protagonists who feel lost or disillusioned, who must navigate worlds that threaten them at every turn—whether that is due to magical or mental obstacles. And still, I write about hope, about hard-won achievements, and most of all, about resilience. These influences are obviously not unique to COVID. However, COVID is the main reason that they emerged in my writing, like it or not. I can’t understand the work I wrote in that time period without also understanding the context in which it was written. So I see my influences still, and in them, I see who I used to be…and who I have become.
craft conversations
Welcome to the section of the newsletter where I talk about my own writing and progress!
As a whole, May was a very slow writing month for me due to exams. The most I did was write this newsletter (and graduate, I suppose). However, I plan to write Draft 4 of PAWN in the coming months, with beta reader feedback! Many thanks to my first five lovely beta readers: Kat, CJ, Sam, You Lin, Maddie. I appreciate you so much for taking the time to review PAWN: A Fairy Tale. Your feedback is absolutely necessary and valued. When I finish Draft 4, I intend to take on another round of beta readers, probably sometime in August…so stay posted on that.
I’m considering switching my word processor from Google Docs to something else (perhaps Scrivener). I have various reasons for this, mostly involving Google’s privacy terms and its limited storage capacity. As you may have heard, some Google Docs users recently received an update where Google’s AI, Gemini, is easily accessible within the doc. I have not received this update yet, but
(hi, Maya) has reported some very helpful findings on her Instagram about how Gemini processes your writing. So far, it seems reasonably harmless: it can write chapter synopses, point out major themes, and evaluate plot twists. I personally am paranoid when it comes to combining AI with my writing. All the same, Gemini’s tools seem intriguing, so I’d recommend checking out Maya’s Instagram if you want to learn more! (And you should subscribe to her newsletter while you’re at it.)books, media & recs
If you can’t tell by the title—in this section, I talk about the books, music, and media that I have been consuming lately. Expect to find your next recommendation here!
READING: In May, I read 8 books. First up was Get a Financial Life by Beth Kobliner (4/5 stars). I read it partially for a class and partially for myself—I found it pretty useful, if a bit dry at points.
I’m going to show how much of a nerd I am with my next two reads: Answers in the Form of Questions by Claire McNear (4/5 stars), and In the Form of a Question by Amy Schneider (4/5 stars). The former is a book about the history of the trivia show Jeopardy! and the latter is a memoir by one of Jeopardy’s champions, transgender contestant Amy Schneider. I loved these windows into the trivia world! As I’ve mentioned before, I love trivia—mostly because it is ideal for me as a very detail-oriented person.
I also read The Midnight Star by Marie Lu (3/5 stars). It is the final book in the Young Elites trilogy, and I enjoyed it, though I would have liked to see more foreshadowing for Adelina’s character arc—I felt that things were wrapped up a little too nicely. Still, Marie Lu always delivers. Another fantasy read of May was The Blood Marrow by indie author Kiera Shen Gabel (4/5 stars). It’s a YA book with comps like Shatter Me and Divergent. It was very entertaining and I’d recommend it to anyone who enjoys YA dystopia/fantasy!
At the tail end of May, I read Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé (3/5 stars) and the Reader’s Digest edition of The Return of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle (5/5 stars). Ace of Spades was an action-packed read, but I think it suffered a bit from predictable plot twists and shallow character relationships. I’m happy to report that Sherlock Holmes did not disappoint me, although I wouldn’t have expected otherwise. (My favorite Sherlock Holmes story is The Speckled Band, for the record.)
Finally, I read A Silent Curse by Katherine Gray (5/5 stars)! It’s an indie supernatural mystery with a haunting atmosphere. The characters are sensitively rendered against the cruel curse of a forgotten town. The world building and descriptions are so intricate; I wish I could frame the writing style and put it on my wall. Here’s a sample from my (many) highlights:
“In one long, dark, uniform block, they lined the streets like mourners at a funeral procession; identical men in black velvet suits, flaunting a dismal smile.”
I was up until midnight finishing A Silent Curse—I was spellbound to the end. If you love The Ballad of Never After by Stephanie Garber, let me just say…you’ll love this book.
MUSIC: If you know me, then you know that I’ve had The Tortured Poets Department on repeat since April 19th. My favorite song from the standard edition is “Florida!!!” and my favorite song from the Anthology is “The Manuscript” (what a surprise, I know). Honorable mentions go to “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”, “Clara Bow”, “The Albatross”, and “The Prophecy”.
I’ve also been listening to Noah Kahan a lot (if you couldn’t tell by my mentioning him earlier in this newsletter). My favorite songs of his are “Stick Season”, “Your Needs, My Needs”, “Dial Drunk”, and most recently, “You’re Gonna Go Far”. “You’re Gonna Go Far” really resonates with me because of the changes that will be upcoming in my life: I graduated from high school, I’ll be leaving my hometown, and I’ll be independent. I’m grateful that I have the privilege of a college education and I’m truly excited to embark on that journey.
goals
This is my to-do list for June:
Begin Draft 4 of PAWN
As I mentioned earlier, this is a priority on my list. I’ll compile beta reader feedback, reread Draft 3, and reread both the Alice books by Lewis Carroll. Then I’ll begin heavy revisions. I’m really looking forward to seeing how this new draft takes shape! I am happiest when I have a project that I can really sink my teeth into.
Complete necessary items for college
This includes applying for housing and dining, as well as completing a roommate request. I also have to submit fun forms like health forms and registration schedule surveys. And I need to hunt for some (not overpriced) college merch…
Set up my new computer
I am very grateful that I will be receiving a new laptop as a graduation gift. As I intend to use it both for college and for writing, it has a hefty capacity to handle the kind of work I’ll be doing. I’ll make sure to give updates when I receive it!
After the whirlwind of chaos of May, I’ll be glad to have things quiet down a bit in June. I’ll definitely be hanging out at my local library throughout the summer, or maybe a coffee shop—after all, I might need some motivation (a sweet treat) to help me revise PAWN.
farewell
And with that, we have reached the end of my first author newsletter! Thank you so much for reading to the end. I can’t describe how grateful I am for your readership. If you enjoyed this issue of Musings, you can do the following to support me and my writing:
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Comment a word to be etymologized in a future newsletter ;)
GOODBYE. A salutation in parting, from godbwye (1570s), a contraction of God be with ye (late 14th century), influenced by good-day, good evening, etc; a noun since the 1570s.
Good morning, good day, or good night, wherever you may be—
Calliope